In 2023, after a year of constantly releasing singles, I found myself in a place of complete burnout. I was mentally unwell, dissatisfied and unsure of what I wanted. I turned to daily journaling and eventually discovered Gratitude in that process. What I experienced was nothing short of a psychedelic transformation from the inside out. The key was understanding that I was focusing too much on what I wanted and not enough on what I have (I wrote a blog on it here and here). The TLDR here is that too much ambition blinds gratitude. They are opposites in fact. Ambition says “not satisfied,” while gratitude says “satisfied.”
This brought me to realizing how blessed I am to be born in The U.S. My father escaped North Korea when he was a young boy. Were it not for his bravery I might be living under a true communist regime. This inspired me to start reading about North Korea. “Nothing to Envy, Ordinary Lives in North Korea” by Barbara Demick is a retelling of what it was like in 1990’s North Korea via a collection of interviews from people who escaped from a town called Chongjin. I wrote a song about two of the people (Jun Sang and MiRan) called “It’s Less Dangerous.” The Nirvana reference is a way to time stamp the lyrics, and to call attention to the fact that Jun Sang and Mi Ran had to carry out their romance under a literal cover of darkness as the country lost power at night due to a lack of energy support by former communist allies Russia and China. Romantic relationships and public displays of affection are forbidden in North Korea, so with the lights out it was indeed less dangerous. Check out a live version and a further in depth explanation here:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5Q1phyLxos/?igsh=b3VnNG12dWV5ZWdp
Additionally, South Korea has been on my mind lately. My mom is from Seoul. The country boasts one of the largest economies in the world and its culture is becoming more and more influential around the world. That said, it has one of the highest suicide rates globally. As of 2024, 70% of those deaths are carried out by people 10-49 years old. Researchers have found that it is mainly due to the academic pressures and societal pressures surrounding career. Also, there is still a big stigma with regards to mental health and limited resources available.
Koreans, like most Asians, have adopted Confucian values that demand an impossible work ethic, impossible standards and deep shame if you can’t conform. This is what makes Koreans great - all Asian people in fact.
We know this too and we embrace the laughter when how we are is used as fodder for comedy…but it’s also literally killing us.
The arts run deep in my family. My father’s father was a musician. My mother’s father was a movie producer. My siblings and their children are all artistic and musically inclined in some way. Music and Art is my family’s identity. We can’t be special in this way, but throughout my life, I’ve rarely met an Asian musician outside of the classical world. On the world stage, Asian people are not thought of as songwriters, singers, rockstars.
Me on stage with all of my brothers
It’s true that what plays a part in this is that Music is a challenging pursuit altogether, but we can also take a look at how Asian people are. It makes me wonder how much talent has been cast aside…how much it nags at Asian Americans who made choices more in line with how they “should” be because of a ghost of centuries old Confucian values that haunt us all to be perfect…and how these decisions might be affecting their mental health. This journey circles back to my initial discovery of my own overambitious ways. I’m working on acting out Gratitude. For me that means starting the day with the question, “With my own gifts, how can I best serve my fellow man?”
An all Asian fronted bill proves that another way of being Asian American is possible. I know there are more of us out there, so this is a rallying cry to create a bigger community and to inspire future generations that they can be anything they want to be. That the old ways are obsoloete. That our ancestors came to America so that we can DREAM.
From left to right: Joe Kim (Beau Frères), John Faye, Judah Kim, Alyssa Garcia, Dave Kim (Moonroof)
